Books That Changed How I See Therapy (and Life)

Books have always been one of my favorite teachers. Some are clinical and research-heavy, others are more personal, but the ones that stay with me are the ones that change how I think about people, healing, and relationships. As a therapist, these books not only shaped my professional approach but also gave me new ways to understand life in general. Here are a few that have made the biggest impact.

The Boy Who Was Raised by a Dog by Dr. Bruce Perry

This book completely changed how I think about trauma. Dr. Perry shares stories from children who went through incredibly difficult experiences and explains how early trauma shapes the brain and behavior. It reminded me that every behavior has a story behind it. In my work providing trauma therapy, this book reinforced how powerful safety and connection are in the healing process.

The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

Dr. Burke Harris takes the science of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and connects it to lifelong health. She explains how early stress impacts not only mental health but also physical health, including heart disease, diabetes, and depression. What I love about this book is that it blends science with humanity and shows that healing is possible no matter where you begin. It pushed me to think beyond therapy alone and see the bigger picture of health and well-being, something I carry into sessions when supporting clients with anxiety, depression, and trauma.

The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

This book is practically a therapy classic now, and for good reason. It explains how trauma is stored not just in our minds but also in our bodies. I often recommend it to clients because it helps normalize what they are feeling, reminding them that anxiety, hypervigilance, or even physical symptoms are not just “in their head.” It influenced me to think holistically about healing, looking at the mind, body, and spirit when working with people seeking trauma therapy.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

This book makes therapy feel human and relatable. Lori Gottlieb writes about her own experience as both therapist and client, weaving her story with those of the people she works with. I appreciate how it shows therapists as real people who are learning, growing, and struggling too. It reminds me that therapy is about being present and authentic, not about having all the answers. For clients who feel hesitant about starting therapy, this is one I often recommend because it captures the heart of what the process really looks like.

Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Attachment theory is one of the most helpful frameworks for understanding relationships, and Attached makes it accessible for everyone. This book explains how anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles show up in dating and relationships. It has shaped how I help clients navigate their patterns in love, especially in attachment-focused therapy. Personally, it made me think differently about how people seek closeness, independence, and security in relationships, and how healing old attachment wounds can change the way we connect with others.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman

I use Gottman Method interventions in my couples therapy practice, and this book is the foundation. It lays out clear, research-based principles for strengthening relationships: building friendship, managing conflict, creating shared meaning, and more. What I love is how practical it is. Couples can actually try the exercises and see changes. Reading it reinforced my belief that relationships thrive not because people never fight, but because they know how to fight and still choose each other. If you are interested in couples therapy, this book is a great starting point.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

This is one of my absolute favorites to recommend, especially for clients who struggle with people-pleasing or feeling overwhelmed by others’ expectations. Nedra Glover Tawwab writes in a clear, straightforward way about what healthy boundaries look like and why they matter. Reading it as a therapist reminded me how powerful it is to help clients name their limits and actually stick to them. In my own life, it reinforced that saying “no” can be an act of self-care. This book shaped my practice by reminding me that boundaries are not walls, they are bridges to healthier, more authentic relationships.

Why These Books Matter

Each of these books has shaped me in a different way, both as a therapist and as a person. They taught me to see trauma with more compassion, understand health in a broader context, and appreciate the complexity of relationships. They also remind me that growth and healing are always possible.

If you are curious about therapy, whether that is trauma therapy, attachment-focused therapy, or couples counseling, these books are a great place to start.