Navigating Life Transitions: Why They Feel So Hard and How Therapy Can Help

Life transitions are sneaky. Sometimes they show up with a big bang—like a cross-country move, a breakup, a new baby, or a career change. Other times they creep in slowly, like the quiet shift from being someone’s child to becoming their caregiver, or the strange stretch of time when your kids are suddenly more independent and you’re not quite sure who you are anymore. 

These moments—big and small—often come with excitement and possibility. But what we don’t always talk about is how deeply disorienting they can feel. Even when a transition is “positive” (think: getting married, starting a new job, or graduating from school), it can still rock your sense of self. You might feel overwhelmed, unsure of how to cope, or like you’re stuck between two versions of yourself: who you were, and who you’re becoming.

As a relational therapist, I see this all the time. Transitions challenge our identity, our roles, and our relationships. They stir up old stories we tell ourselves and can even awaken grief for the life we’re leaving behind—whether or not we consciously wanted to leave it.

Why Are We So Emotional?

When things shift in our lives, our nervous system often interprets that as a threat, even if the change is something we chose. That’s because we’re wired for safety, and safety often means familiarity. So when the ground beneath us starts to move, our emotions respond: anxiety, sadness, fear, guilt, even shame can pop up unexpectedly.

Transitions can also bring up unfinished business from earlier life stages. For example, if you’re becoming a parent, you might find yourself thinking a lot about your own childhood. If you’re retiring or changing careers, you may start questioning your self-worth or asking, “Have I done enough?” These are natural, very human reactions.

What makes things even harder is that most transitions affect more than one area of life. Changing jobs might also impact your routine, finances, social life, or identity. Starting a new relationship might stir up past wounds or insecurities. Life doesn’t compartmentalize—everything is connected.

From a Relational Lens: We Don't Do This Alone

In relational therapy, we understand that our mental health is shaped not only by our internal world, but also by the people, systems, and relationships around us. That’s why life transitions can feel so raw; they often shift our relational roles. Suddenly, we’re someone’s partner, or no longer someone’s spouse. We’re a new parent, or a grieving child. We’re a boss, a student, a caretaker, an “empty nester.” These roles come with expectations, both external and internal, and navigating them can feel like trying to rewrite a script while you’re already on stage.

One of the biggest challenges I hear from clients during transitions is the question, “Who am I now?” This isn’t just a surface-level question. It hits at the heart of identity. And when our identity feels unsettled, it’s normal to feel disconnected, anxious, or lost.

From a relational perspective, we work together in therapy to explore not just what’s happening, but how it’s impacting your sense of self and your connections to others. We look at how past relationships or patterns might be shaping your current experience, and we begin to make sense of your story, not just as a series of events, but as a meaningful journey.

Common Transitions That Bring People to Therapy

Here are a few life transitions that often lead people to seek support:

- Breakups, divorce, or relationship changes

- Becoming a parent—or deciding not to

- Loss of a loved one

- Career shifts, layoffs, or burnout

- Moving to a new city or country

- Graduating or changing life stages

- Coming out or navigating gender identity

- Caring for aging parents or dealing with illness

- “Good” changes that still feel hard—like getting married or buying a home

You don’t have to be in crisis to come to therapy. Often, people come to me during transitions because they just don’t feel like themselves. They might say, “I should be happy, but I’m not,” or “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” Therapy can be a space to slow down, breathe, and sort through all the noise.

How Therapy Can Support You During a Transition

Here’s what we might do together in session:

• Name what’s happening – Sometimes just putting words to your experience can bring relief. You don’t have to have it all figured out to show up.

• Make sense of the emotional rollercoaster – We’ll explore not just what you’re feeling, but why, and how it connects to your story and relationships.

• Reclaim your sense of self – Transitions can rattle your identity. We’ll work together to figure out what’s shifting, what still feels true, and what new parts of you are emerging.

• Find your voice – Big changes can make it hard to speak up for what you need. In therapy, we’ll practice setting boundaries, asking for help, and trusting your own intuition.

• Stay connected – Whether that means working on your relationships with others, or deepening the relationship you have with yourself, therapy can be a place to stay grounded during the chaos.

You’re Allowed to Struggle—Even With “Good” Change

One thing I want to make clear: it’s okay to grieve the parts of your old life, even if you’re excited about what’s next. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not weak. You’re just human.

So many people minimize what they’re going through because it “could be worse” or because they think they “should” be handling it better. But growth often comes with discomfort. It’s okay to feel conflicted, scared, sad, or stuck. Therapy doesn’t erase those feelings—but it helps you move through them with support, insight, and care.

Final Thoughts

Life transitions aren’t problems to be solved—they’re seasons to be moved through. Some seasons feel foggy and uncertain. Others are full of possibility. But you don’t have to navigate them alone.

If you’re in the middle of a big shift—or even a small one that feels big—I’d be honored to walk with you through it. My relational approach to therapy means we’ll focus on your story, your relationships, and what matters most to you. Together, we’ll make sense of where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you want to go.

Reach out when you’re ready. There’s no “right time” to ask for support—only a willingness to take that first step.

You’re not alone. Let’s figure it out together.